I don't know what's going on!!

Ok. So my hopes aren't all crushed. You remember i said i recieved an email about the Unilin job on my last post. It said that i didn't have "enough experience" Well, they called me yesterday to come in to take somekind of test. I'm not sure why they sent me an  email stating that i wasn't eligable for employment and then they want me to take a test, but oh well. I'm going to take it.. and we will see what happens!
The test is tomorrow, at the same location where i had the "interview" before. I'm going at 9 in the morning and hopefully something will come of it!

No Luck Finding a Job

Ok, So i was really excited about my interview at Unilin Flooring Yesterday. I had high hopes. I mean it sounded like a pretty good paying job, and I knew someone that works there. That's how i've gotten most of the jobs that i've had, someone i know worked there. Today, however, I got an email. "Thank you for applying, blah blah blah, we're sorry but you do not have the experience we are looking for." COME ON! I was applying for a fork lift job. I drove a fork lift for a year at my last job! What more do i need? But oh well!
i haven't given up hope finding a job yet though. Even before I read that email, i was looking on the internet for jobs. There's absolutely nothing on Craigslist. Nothing but scams on there. Someone trying to get your credit information. Maybe i need to run a scam!
Well, thats it for today. I'll look around tomorrow, and maybe i'll find a job!

My first interview

Ok, so i woke up this morning excited. Excited about what? My job interview. I got up around 7:30 which, by the way, is extremely early for me. I got ready and piddled around until about 8:30. Then to Unilin i headed.
I started up my jeep and put it in reverse....I started up my jeep and PUT IT IN REVERSE!.... it wouldn't go into reverse? This is annoying! I try and try again. I can get it into any other gear but not into reverse. What the hell? I just spent $3500 putting a new engine in it (well my dad spent it, i'm paying him back..thanks dad!) Whatever, I put it in first and pulled through the yard. I didn't have time for that.
I pull in the parking lot and look around at all the cars and at the huge building. This place is a lot bigger than all the other places I've worked at before. I looked around for the office and found the visitor's parking. That must be the office in front of the visitors parking. Made sense to me. I picked a spot that was kindof up hill so that if i couldn't reverse i could just roll back out of the spot. I parked and went in.
Once inside i was directed to a room where 3 other people were already sitting. They were sitting at a table waiting. There were 2 men and 1 woman. We all had a little sheet of paper with company info on it that we were looking at.
Then Drenda walked in. She explained the deal to us. We were going to talk about the company, watch a video and then we were going to be interviewed individually. I really didn't care about learning about the company. I was there to get a job, not learn how laminate flooring was made!
After the informative, we were called 1 by 1 back to be interviewed. I went back and sat in a chair across from the saftey inspector. I don't remember his name.
He went over the basic questions that i think are all a load of crap. How long do you plan to be with the company if hired? How do you handle diffucult situations? Blah blah blah...
Then it was over.
They say it may take as long as 4 months to actually complete the hiring process. They said there are several interviews, as well as a test, and a plant walk through.
As of now, i have no idea how the interview went. I have a pretty good feeling about it, but i don't know how they felt. We'll see.
Wish me luck!

Better Days

OK, so I'm over myself today. Last night went better than i was expecting. Yesterday was just one of those down in the dump days. I ended up heading over to my friends house last night and playing a little Black Ops and watching Due Date..which is an awesome movie if you haven't seen it already.
Today was a good day. My girl friends brother had a new baby boy! Congratulations to them. I went to the gym, which is almost an everyday occurance for me, and i hung out with my girl friend for the rest of the day. We ended up going to my favorite resturaunt, Hams, and i got my favorite boneless wings. Then we went to the loack $1 theater and watched Black Swan, which is a crazy, but very good movie! If you haven't seen it, and you like "different" movies, then definately check it out.
Tomorrow morning, at 9:00 i have my first interview at Unilin, the flooring company, so wish me luck!!!

Sometimes It Hurts

Some days are worse than others. Some days I really do feel like a complete loser. The depression hits me like a ton of bricks and I can't get over the feeling. I wollow in self pitty even though I get angry at myself for doing it. Terrible thoughts run through my head. Things I'd never do but they seem like they would make things better. I want the easy way out, but i know its the wrong choice. Life is just moving too slowly for me right now.
I find myself shut up in my room making these four walls the extent of my world. I'll play on the computer for a little while, then I'll move over and turn on my Xbox and play it for a little while. Even playing video games makes me more depressed. The worse i feel about myself the worse i do on the video games. That's my outlet, and it's pissing me off, because some kid, probably in some other state, is better than me right now at this video game and he keeps killing me.
I had plans to go to my friends house with my girlfriend. My g/f is with her good friend who is in town. We were all going over to my friends house to hang out. I feel like i've been waiting all day for her to get her and let me know when. It's 10 min. after 9. They are still shopping, and doing crap. My friend made me feel like he didn't really want me coming over. He said: "just come over with them." Did i take that wrong, or did he not really want me coming over with out them. Either way, it's getting to me.
Days like this I'm glad I don't own a gun anymore. I'd be drived to do something terrible. Then i think, no, i wouldn't do that. I would go rob a bank. But i'd fuck that up too. I'd get cought. I'd go to jail and lose the one thing that i have that means anything to me right now: my girlfriend. So, lets just say it's a good think i don't have one anymore.
I often wonder how people get through this state of depression. I've always thought myself to be pretty strong. I'm breaking down. I'm having terrible thoughts. I know that they are just thoughts, but what about those who aren't as strong as I am? How do they cope.
On top of not having a job, living with my parents, blah blah blah, i feel like i don't have any friends either. Do you ever feel like that? I mean i do have friends, but i just sometimes they secretly don't like me and only hang out with me because i'm there. I feel like i'm just the other guy in the group and no one would care if i wasn't there. I've never been one to have a lot of friends. As a kid, my parents were so restrictive about who i hung out with that i was never able to have a close childhood friend. Only now am i learning the importance of being there for your friends. It's a little late.
I feel like i'm running a race, we're on the last lap of 20 and i'm in last place. What's the point? Just give up.
But that's not me. I don't give up. I may wollow in my own self pitty for a while, but i will pull myself out of it. Today is just one of those crappy days. I get depressed every once in a while. So what! who doesn't.
Today i have no confidence. I hope tomorrow I do.

Why So Long With No Job?

I've been unemployed for a little over a year now. To be honest with you, I haven't been looking for a job the entire time. "What a bum!" right? Well, I wasn't being lazy. I'm not the type of person that enjoys sitting around the house playing video games and playing on facebook all day, even though that's what it seems like I've been doing. So why did I take so long to start looking for a job?
I'm an adventurous person. I love to do things that most people haven't done. I'm still young in my career of seeking adventure, but I'm on my way do accomplishing many goals. So, when I was working my last job, in metal fabrication, i started pondering an idea. I wanted to go on a real adventure. I wanted to ride a bicycle, that i didn't have, across the USA. Now most of the things that i think of doing end the same way that they started: as simply an idea. Was this just another idea that would pass on? Then, the company shut its doors and I was unemployed.
Unemployment scares most people. I, however, looked at it as an opportunity. I was getting paid every week, I had nothing to do, and in this bad economy, it's hard to find a job. This was the perfect circumstances to make my adventure possible! I ran the idea across my girlfriend and after a little convincing, she was on board. So we spent the next 7 months planning OUR GREAT ADVENTURE!

Did I find a job?

So this past week, my friend Mike, told me that the company that he worked for was hiring. They make laminate hard wood floors. He told me the hours, and they work perfect with my school schedule. I don't really want a factory/warehouse job, but right now i can't really be too picky. The economy is terrible and every time i turn around i hear of someone else getting laid off. So I went online and applied. I mean what the heck, it couldn't hurt.
Friday, yesterday, i received a call from the company. The wanted me to come in for an interview. Sounds good! Maybe i can finally get a job and start making some money!!!!! I hope so!
So Monday, at 9:00, I have an interview at their office. Wish me luck!!!

I need a job!

I need a job, but what kind of job do I want? I've only worked about 5 real jobs since i was 15. My first job was in a grocery store called Winn Dixie. I worked there from 15 to 18. As soon as I graduated high school i got a full time job at another grocery store called Food Lion. I worked at Food Lion for about 4 years. When i finally got sick of them taking advantage of me, i decided to take a pay cut and go to work with my friend in a fatory. I started making bubble wrap. What fun! After about 3 years in the bubble wrap industry, i went to work at a metal fabrication factory. We made parts for companies such as John Deere and Kubota. My main job there was to run a press break (a machine that bends metal). I liked the job itself. We had to read blueprints, figure out what dimensions to bend the parts at, set the machine up, and then bend them. I didn't really like the people. I couldn't connect with any of them. so honestly, i was sort of happy when they closed down and i was laid off.  My favorite job however was a temporary part time job at Gold's Gym. I was a CSSR (customer service sales rep) Pretty much i just made smoothies and greeted customers. So that's my job history, grocery store, machine operator, and customer service.
So basically I know what i don't want, well other than the gym job. Now i just don't know what i do want. No more grocery stores...I'm done with that. And i don't want a factory job... but i would take that before a grocery store job. So what else is out there? Guess i gotta get more motivation and look.

Why am I a Loser?

Why do I call myself The American Loser? Am I just a bum? Am I actually some business man who wants another blog to write so I'm making it all up? Do I really think that lowly of myself? Well, no, I don't think that lowly of myself. Actually I have quite a bit of pride. That's why I'm not releasing my true identity right yet. Or maybe that's just insecurity. So what makes me The American Loser.

To answer that question simply: I'm a realist. I'm looking at my position as I feel someone from the outside would look at me. Lets face it. We are all put on a scale acording to our financial status. And right now, I'm at the bottom of that status. When others look at me I'm a 26 year old man, living at home with his mom and dad, who has no job, no education, bad credit, and right now absolutely no motivation. What's that sound like to you? Yes, a loser. Now do I honestly feel that I am a loser? No. But like i said, i'm a realist.

Loser Reason #1: I Live With Mom and Dad

Ok, so I live at home with mom and dad. Its ok when you 19 or 20. But i'm 26, this is depressing as hell! I haven't always lived with good ol' mommy and daddy however. I actually moved out about a week after i graduated high school. I was always very independent. I wanted to do things my way. That was much easier when i had my own place. So when I graduated i bought a mobile home from my brother in law, found a roommate and moved out!

I stayed there for about 4 years. Then I was ready for another move. I then moved back in with Mom and Dad for about 6 months until I found a cheap apartment. Then i moved there for about 2 years. It was nice, but i wanted to go to school so i thought i'd move back in with mom and dad to save some money while going to school.

Loser Reason #2: I Have No Job

I absolutely can not stand it when someone ask "What do you do?" I hate that question. I'm a bum! I've been laid off for a little over a year. It's kind of an imbarrasing question to answer.

Its not that I'm lazy and don't want to work, I promise. I love staying busy. I've been working since was 15. I became a stocker at a local grocery store and I have been working ever since. Well up until I was laid off. To be honest with you I actually just started looking for a job here in the past few weeks. I thought it would be easy, i mean i've had a job all of my life. But it's not.



You're probably thinking that i'm a bum for spending a year of my life unemployed liveing off of the government and not looking for a job. Well, i wasn't just sitting on my butt. I promise. I tell you what. I'll write start another page to explain what i was doing all of that time. That is if i can figure out how all of this blogging stuff works.

Loser Reason #3: No Education

By no education, I don't mean I'm a drop out. I graduated high school. I was just never pushed to further my education. So I have no degree or extra training that can help me land a job. I think i'll save the details on this one. I'll fill you in later. It'a another blog entry's worth.

Loser Reason #4: Bad Credit

Yup. That too. Bad Credit. It's hard to keep your bills paid when you don't have a job. No, let me rephrase that: It's impossible to keep you bills paid when you don't have a job. And yes, I have collection agencies calling me ALL THE TIME!!!! Damn them. "hello mr _________   __________" click hang up. That's how it goes.

Loser Reason #5: Lack of Motivation

It's hard to keep yourself motivated. I know I have to find a job, but lying around waiting on one to come my way is much easier. It just lacks results. Its hard to get out there and put in applications. Especially when you fill out application after application and have no results. I absolutely hate filling out an application. And they are all online now. I can't go in and talk to someone anymore. They just say "fill out an application online." I've filled out tons of applications. I've actually had a few interviews. I actually had one place call me back, invite me in for an interview, then send me an email stating "you're not what we're looking for", then they called me back to take a test and then for another interview. I went up there 3 times and talked to someone. That was a month ago. Now: nothing. But i'm looking. Not as hard as i should be but i'm looking.

But motivation is a big thing. It's very easy to lose. so if you know someone who has no motivation, don't put them down for it. Pick them up. Try to motivate them in a positive way. Whether it's finding a job, or anything else.

TEST RESULTS:

Lives with mom and dad: ...................Check

No Job: ............................................Check

No Education: ...................................Check

Bad Credit: .......................................Check

No Motivation: ..................................Check

LOSER?...............................................YES!

Wouldn't you agree?

My first entry: March 22, 2011

I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I'm speaking mainly of this blog, but I guess that you could say that I'm talking about life in general as well. That's why I'm attempting to write a blog, because I'm not sure what else to do. I hear that you can make money with blogs. Can you? Probably so. Can I? Most likely not. But I will attempt to type my life out into blogs and see if anyone cares to read about it. I'll try to make it fun. I'll try to make it entertaining. I hope the boredom of my life will at least entertain you. You? Who are you? Who actually is reading this blog? No one. So as of right now, I am speaking to no one. Just my computer. Just this empty blog site.

When I first said I'm not really sure what to do I really meant that I'm not sure how to go about making a worthwhile blog. I'm not sure how to set up the homepage, or the profile. But I love to learn things. I love to try things out. I'm not sure what all I'm going to end up putting on this blog. As of right now, my name and face will be a mystery to the reader of this blog. In time, I may decide to let him, or her (the reader) know who The American Loser is. But, i sort of feel like the fun is that i could be anyone. Right now, I bet there are probably tons of 26 year old men who feel just like i do. Stuck. I'm stuck in a point in my life and i'm not sure where to go. I'm not sure what I should do. But I'm going to figure it out. And as I do, I will write it all in this blog for the world to see.

But first, lets get one thing straight. You may be thinking I'm some guy with no self esteem that feels sorry for himself and wants sympathy. You're right. Well, you're somewhat right. I don't want sympathy. But I do, at times, have low self esteem. And I do, at times, feel sorry for myself. But who doesn't sometimes?
But that's a problem that I'm working on for me. I'm going to try to figure out how to deal with it. And yes, I'm going to tell you all about it in this blog. So if you don't want to hear it, don't read this blog. I will complain, i might nag, i might vent, but i'll also rejoice. Just to let the world know how this random, faceless, nameless, American loser feels like. Because you might know someone in my position that feels just like i do.

I'm going to try my best to write at least 2 blog post a week. I'm not a blogger, so i'm not sure if i can keep up with it. But I've read that if you want to keep an audience then you have to post regularly. So I will do my best.  And i am a very dedicated person. Ok I lie, I'm not that dedicated. But I really want to do this. So I will. So I'll talk to you at least by Thursday.